Man Rules | Hilarious “Rules” a man suggest Women follow

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I was browsing and ran across this hilarious set of rules that were a picture’s caption. I rewrote them as I couldn’t copy & paste. Well worth it. The picture above serves just for laughs :-):

Please note. These are all numbered #1 on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You are a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Settle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we say can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we…
1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default setting. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also the fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, will act like nothings wrong. We know you’re lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you’re prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have to many shoes.
1. I am in shape, round is a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping…

Enjoy your Sunday, ladies!

Xo,

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